Genifer Xiong;: Archive

Mom: Bastard!
Dad: Bitch!
Billy: Mom, what's a bitch and a bastard?
Mom: Well, a bitch is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen.
 Later Billy goes outside and listens to his neighbors and hears "put your penis in my vagina!" Then Billy goes to his mom.
Billy: Mom, what's a penis and vagina?
Mom: Well, a penis is a hat and vagina is a coat.
 Then Billy sees his dad shaving and cut himself and says "shit"
Billy: Dad, what's shit?
Dad: Well Billy, shit is a type of shaving cream.
 Then Billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says “fuck!” 
Billy: Mom, what's fuck? 
Mom: Well Billy, fuck is a way of cutting the turkey.
 Later the guests arrive and Billy goes to them
Billy: Hello bitches and bastards, may I take your penis’s and vaginas, my dad’s upstairs wiping shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
 The end

Dec 31st

4,252 notes

Dec 31st

89,178 notes

How to handle rejection.

mmonique-: aw, now that’s just too cute nfxjvbfg

Dec 31st

51,801 notes

Dec 30th

75,724 notes

When you can't speak, because you know that if you...

Dec 27th

175,361 notes

Dec 27th

15,791 notes

Dec 27th

126,707 notes

Dec 26th

35,548 notes

Dec 26th

7,702 notes

Dec 26th

13,126 notes

Dec 26th

52,502 notes

Dec 24th

5,636 notes

Dec 24th

Dec 23rd

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Dec 23rd

6,197 notes

Dec 23rd

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Dec 23rd

18,993 notes

#Dead.

Girlfriend: Babe, what are you doing?
Boyfriend: Nothing much, really tired going to sleep now and you sweetheart?
Girlfriend: In the club standing behind you -_-

Dec 23rd

24,397 notes

Dec 23rd

47,666 notes

asdfghjonjon: diehasen: This makes me happy on so many levels Weeee :3

Dec 23rd

59,480 notes

Dec 23rd

102,983 notes

Dec 23rd

66,140 notes

Dec 23rd

801 notes

Dec 23rd

61,501 notes

When I first met you, I honestly didn't know you...

Dec 22nd

50 notes

Dec 22nd

56,751 notes

Dec 21st

19 notes

Dec 21st

115,410 notes

Dec 21st

116,660 notes

Dec 21st

2,394 notes

Dec 21st

1,030 notes

Dec 21st

46,358 notes

Dec 21st

10,951 notes

Dec 21st

87,337 notes

I had a dream that the world was being taken over

luanlegacy: by HUGE clumps of tapioca balls mixed with corn…. they were so sticky that they just enveloped our bodies and tried to suffocate us, and the tapioca ball clumps were so chewy and big that we couldn’t eat them fast enough! … idk what the corn was for… maybe if you ate it, you’d have bad diarrhea cause corn doesn’t really digest… it was the end of the world!

Dec 21st

210 notes

Dec 21st

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Dec 21st

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Dec 19th

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I just realized that the word "short" is longer... →

Dec 17th

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Dec 16th

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Dec 16th

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MY CHRISTMAS LIST

-CLOTHES/SHOES/JEWERLY- -i love kaoxiong shirt - ugg boots - new pair of boots - vans - converse - nikes - hello kitty ear muffs - fluffy soft socks - hello kitty slippers - hello kitty bracelet - hello kitty necklace - bearclaw boots - varsity jacket - leather jacket -ACCESSORIES- - hello kitty bed set - new purse ...

Dec 15th